It doesn’t have to be used exclusively towards women, as long as the usage is still “you are behaving like a woman and being a woman is bad so you are bad”. That’s what makes it a slur, it denigrates both the target and and the entire group to which the target is being compared.
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Two things:
A) “bitch” is indeed a slur, a misogynistic one, and if one is going to filter slurs it belongs in that filter list
and 2] change instances, that’s a .ml feature not a lemmy-general feature
You use it to refer to things you can normally dominate that temporarily inconvenience you; that’s not the defense you want it to be. Even if that connection doesn’t exist in your own mind (and I believe you that it doesn’t) it normalizes that usage and contributed to systemic misogyny.
Additionally, I shouldn’t have to point out that a group using a slur that normally targets them isn’t evidence it’s not a slur; I bet you wouldn’t use the n-word even though the same metric applies.